“The IVF didn’t work at all?
Well, the embryologist must have dropped them.”
Hello, I’m Hatty
I created Ask Hatty as a way of hopefully helping other people have less of a bumpy ride through infertility and IVF than I did.
There are so many things I wish I had known in advance, so many areas where we tripped up, and I want to help you avoid them.
Well, I’ve been through the ringer a bit.
I had my first child, a son, in 2017, aged 37 with no issues. It never occurred to me that we might struggle when it came to wanting a sibling for him just over a year later. In May 2019, I had my first ectopic pregnancy and lost one fallopian tube. In October 2019 I had a twin pregnancy, with one embryo in the womb and the other in my remaining tube. I nearly died from the internal bleeding, lost both embryos and my other tube.
So, trying to remain positive, we enthusiastically signed up for IVF, which I assumed we would sail through in one round. After all, we’d had our son easily; surely we’d be fine.
IVF Round 1: no viable embryos.
Round 2: two embryos, both were abnormal.
Prior to round 3, I decided to throw everything at it. I’m a solicitor and not afraid of research. After hours and days lost in books and in front of screens, after appointments with every conceivable expert I could find, I started taking dozens of supplements a day and made my husband do the same. I made multiple lifestyle changes. I signed up for fertility nutrition tests, acupuncture, reflexology — you name it, I tried it.
In October 2020 we finally got a happy call from an embryologist: 4 healthy embryos. First transfer: so far so good (baby due October 2021).
I was ignored, overruled and even laughed at by the professionals.
On multiple occasions as my fertility hurtled downhill, I was ignored, overruled and even laughed at by the professionals. Less than 24 hours after surgery for my second ectopic pregnancy, a sonographer implied it was my fault that the consultant I’d been seeing for fertility treatment hadn’t caught either of my ectopic pregnancies earlier: that’s what you get for going private. A few days before that, at a central London hospital, the A&E department refused my desperate pleas for a scan as it was “after 8pm, not hospital policy and it couldn’t possibly be anything serious as I would be in ‘more pain’”. I promptly collapsed the following morning (the hospital’s policy has since been amended). My GP sniggered at the idea that anything I’d done between rounds 2 and 3 of IVF could have been responsible for the improved results and dismissed me as a fantasist.
If all of this is just my story, I dread to think what others have been through collectively.
First-hand fertility advice and guidance
Whilst what worked for us may not work for you, if you are at all like me, and want to give it your all, get in touch and I’ll happily share my findings — and the things that I think might have really helped me get third-time-lucky.